We recently moved 20 miles north to Lehi, Utah. During the process of this move, deciding where to move, what we could afford, what we were looking for in a new home, and finding a new domicile, we (or rather I) was constantly faced with our family's needs versus my wants. Because of the differences in our childhoods and family economics growing up, Brigham is much better able to distinguish needs from wants whereas I tend to think of many wants as needs. This has lead to no little contention in our marriage, mostly with me having to concede that I don't need something that I think I do. It was no different during this move.
I wanted a bigger, better place with a nice modern kitchen, 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, and a yard. I found one area with several condos available that seemed to meet what we needed (it had no yard but said there was a park nearby and playground in the condo complex) but when we drove through the neighborhood, both Brigham and I knew it was not right for us. No matter how nice the condo might me inside, we hated the neighborhood. The park was dismal and the playground in the complex (if it could be called that) would require crossing a large busy parking lot. But it was the only 3 bedroom, 2 bath in our price range! (3 bedrooms is a need, not a want). So I increased our price range by $100 and found a townhouse that seemed perfect. A yard, large kitchen, near a park, with plenty of storage space. I was convinced this townhouse is what our family needed. Brigham, knowing how frustrated I was, agreed to drive up to the neighborhood just to check things out. We loved the neighborhood. We liked the park. While we were there Brigham noticed an apartment complex just across the street from the townhouse I had my heart set on. He also noticed the "For Rent" sign and asked me to find out more. I complied and found out it fitted our needs, 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, laundry room in the apartment and the price was incredible. The complex was very green, with, in addition to huge park just across the street, 3 good playgrounds of its own in the interior of the complex. It was designed to be kid friendly, the parking was only around the exterior leaving green grass and pathways to connect the buildings (unlike the condos we had look at that separated each building with a parking lot). But I did not want to live in an apartment complex. We have two active kids who love the outdoors, they NEED a yard, right? We NEED a bigger place, right? The apartment was same square footage of pervious home, what we gained in another bed and bath, we lost in front room.
Brigham, ever patient with me, reminded me that while a $100 more a month may not seem that much, even the upper reaches of our price range would stretch us financially. I have a tendency to freak out about our finances every 2-3 months whether I need to or not and being pregnant only makes these freak out session more emotional and dramatic. Brigham was already stressed and anxious about study for the Bar exam. He knew that he could not work more than a few hours a week and as he got closer to the exam would stop working altogether. More than needing a new home, Brigham needed ME not be stressed financially. He also reminded me other needs and some wants we would forego if I got the townhouse I wanted: peace of mind, money needed to prepare for the new baby, our food budget would have to be cut, as well money to take the kids swimming, or movies, or other outings, and no money for babysitters or going on dates. I would have the home I wanted but nothing else. So we moved to the apartment complex. And I have to confess, I like the apartment. It may be the same size as our last home but it has much more usable space. The kids don't mind the lack of yard, the love the park and playgrounds, and having so many other kids around neighborhood. It is not what I wanted but it is what our family needs at this time.
Proof to show that he did this himself and I did not dress him up.
James feels very left out that Anna and I wear dresses frequently. He is always asking for a dress of his own. Finally he decided that one of Anna's, although several sizes too small, would suffice.
Don't worry, it's a clean pullup.
Oh, another too small dress.
