Food for thought, part III: Kids

While marriage and my extensive reading on food helped changed the way I think about food, the way I cook and what I chose to eat, it is my children that motivate me the most. Even before marrying and having children, I was concerned by the raising rates of obesity that I read about frequently and saw around me but I found the obesity rates among children and teens concerning. One book that I read gave the statistic that children today are four times at risk of becoming overweight or obese than their parents were at the same age. Four times!! That is astounding. Yet when I look around at the prevalence of fast food restaurants and how busy they are, the amount of processed foods, snack foods, and candy that are readily available almost everywhere I go, not to mention all the advertizing that is directly aimed at children (in so many subtle and conniving ways) it is no wonder that we are in the midst of an obesity epidemic.

As a mother, I have many responsibilities and obligations to my children as well as the many things I want to teach them and let them experience. One of my biggest responsibilities, I feel, is to help them grow up healthy, strong and active that will help them achieve a good self-esteem and body image. I also want them to enjoy eating healthy food, and more importantly, to understand the importance of choosing healthy food over junk and how to cook healthy food for themselves. I keep a fruit bowl near the table and it is not unusually to find the apples and pears in it with little bites taken out of them. James, the ever helpful big brother, usually gets a piece of fruit for Anna (since she is too short to reach the bowl) when he is helping himself to some. It is adorable to watch these two little people try to eat a whole apple! But I worry what the future will bring. Although we do not watch TV (we only watch DVDs) James is already being influenced by advertizing. He knows McDonalds although we have only taken him there once while traveling. He begs for "fishies" (goldfish crackers) when we go shopping and asks for candy (that's my fault, I have a sweet tooth or two).

I also worry about how to help Anna and any other daughters I may have, to have a good body image when girl's clothes, even some baby clothes, emphasize slenderness and can be very provocative. A few months ago, for example, I bought Anna a new pair of jeans from Old Navy. When I put them on her I could not button them; she was too chubby. Now Anna is not THAT chubby of a baby. In fact she usually weights between the 50th to 60th percentile for her age but these jeans were cut in such a way that makes me think they were designed for babies in the 30th percentile or lower. In other words, they were not designed for the average 6-12 month old like Anna, but for the "skinny" babies. Now that Anna is crawling and walking, she has slimmed out more in her tummy and the jeans fit but when I first put the jeans on I thought, "Great, I'm giving her body image problems at 6 months old!" I don't want Anna to ever have body image problems or if she does I hope they are minor and don't start until she is a teenager. However, the world seems more and more obsessed with body image: the too thin models and actresses in magazines and on TV, the raising rates of obesity and eating disorders, and the amount of money spent on diet products each year are all reasons for me to be concerned by how my children might perceive their bodies as they mature into adulthood.

I have read frequently that a mother's attitude towards food and her body imagine (positive or negative) affect how her children view food and their bodies. While I would never have called myself "skinny" as a child or a teenager, I did not feel that I was overweight or fat. I was healthy, I was active, I played outside with siblings and friends, rode my bike to school (if we lived close enough) and rode my bike or roller skated after school. In high school I started working out at a gym and in college I started running. I still run 3-4 times a week and if both kids take a nap, I work out to home videos. I have never "gone" on a diet. The first time I ever wanted or needed to lose weight was after having two kids. Despite my efforts not to gain too much weight while pregnant I gained 55 pounds with James and my body, especially my knees, ached from the excess weight. After that I determined to never let myself become overweight. After each pregnancy I watched the amount of sweets I ate, prepare healthy foods, exercised and soon I lost all the baby weight.

Sometimes I feel like I obsess about food but then I realized I am not obsessed about food, I am obsess about what to feed my family that will be healthy. I am obsessed with maintaining by husband's and my health and raising healthy, strong and happy children. I want all of us to be able to run and play without getting winded or having body image problems. I want all of us to find joy and wonder in our bodies and what they can do. I fully intend that when James and Anna leave our house to start college or serve a mission they will know how to plan menus and cook healthy food and to find pleasure in cooking good food. I think I will make that their exit examine: my children must first plan and cook healthy dinners for week before I will let them leave my home. Then if they fall victim to the obesity epidemic, I will know that it is their fault and not mine for not teaching them good nutrition knowledge or how to cook healthy foods.

Food for Thought, part II: Knowledge

When I started college there were three career paths I was interested in pursuing: business (my first business class put an end to that, it was soooo boring), English (understatement: I love to read), and nutrition. I had great hopes for nutrition; I loved to read magazine and news articles about food and nutrition and found it very interesting but confusing. I took Nutrition 101 my first semester of college. It was a night class taught by a very pregnant professor from Kenya who I had great difficulty understanding. This class killed my hopes of nutrition as a major. What I found confusing about nutrition was amplified in this class.

In 1996, when I started college, was the heyday of micro-nutritionism (i.e. all they taught and talked about was vitamins, minerals and other nutrients with heavy focus on the "super" nutrient of the moment without context to the actual foods in which they are found. That is what I found so confusing and which still confuses most people about good nutrition.) The whole food movement had started but it had not yet reached the news articles in popular magazines and college classrooms at that time. If I had attended a school where nutrition was taught from the whole foods perspective, I would have become a nutritionist instead I ended up majoring in elementary and special education for reasons I still don't understand myself.

In the years following that ill-fated nutrition class, I tried to learn more about nutrition and healthy eating but as mentioned above, it was confusing. Much of the information was confusing and contradictory. I ate as healthy as I could based upon my knowledge, resources and time available to devote to it. A few months after my wedding I met a woman at church who introduced me to Eating Well magazine. In this magazine I finally found what I had been looking for in terms of whole food nutrition information and delicious healthy recipes. After sampling several recipes from its website (all recipes from the magazine are available free on the website) I subscribed to the magazine and have for the last three years. Over 75% of the meals I cook come from recipes in this magazine. With one or two exceptions I have liked every recipe I have tried and the exceptions had more to do with personal taste than anything wrong with the recipe.

Eating Well also opened up a whole new realm of literature on food and nutrition for me. It was in that magazine that I first heard about The Omnivore's Dilemma: A Natural History of Four Meal
by Michael Pollan. I read this book about a year and half ago. Four months ago I read another book by Pollan In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto.
Pollan is an investigative journalist, not a nutritionist or someone else professionally involved with food or nutrition, and because of that I found his books to be articulate and understandable to the average reader unlike many books I had read by nutrition professionals. Since reading Pollan's books I now feel that I can read a food label with some degree of competence (before I read them because I felt I ought to even though I did not understand them). I avoid, as much as possible, buying processed foods and if I do buy any I buy ones with a short ingredient list, with ingredients that I can actually pronounce and recognize, and hopefully without high fructose corn syrup.

A week after I finishing In Defense of Food I read The End of Overeating by David Kessler, M.D, a former FDA commissioner. Reading these two books close together will prompt almost anyone to never buy processed or fast food again, and instill a strong desire to plant a garden or start a small hobby farm. While The End of Overeating is not as accessible to average reader as Pollan's book, in some respects the way it is written does drive home some important facts more forcefully than Pollan's books. The first part of the book is devoted to research on what food combinations in terms of fat, sugar, salt cause people to overeat and which can be addictive. The second part of the book then details how the food industry takes these studies and applies them to make their food more "palatable," in other words, they design processed food to be overeaten so the consumer will buy more. Even commercial diet foods use this research to make their foods more palatable.

Next I read The Unhealthy Truth: How Our Food is Making us Sick and What We Can Do About It
by Robyn O'Brien. This also was an eye opening look at food especially into food preservatives, food colors, genetically engineered food, and growth hormones used in dairy cows. O'Brien is, like me, a housewife whose daughter violent allergic reaction to eggs prompted her to do in depth research into allergies and then into the food industry. Most of the book is about the research and studies she uncovered, especially in from European sources. In Europe most studies are funded by the government not the food industry like the US. In Europe, as well, many food additives and colors, so prevalent in US foods, are outlawed. Genetically engineered food in Europe also must be labeled as such whereas in the US in it voluntary. I would recommend this book to anyone with children or just wants to be more informed with one caveat: I found her frequent references to herself as "Mama Bear" rather tiresome.

Yes, the way I ate changed after my marriage but added to knowledge I gained from these books has prompted me even more. One thing that has changed the most is how I look at processed foods: now I call them food-like substances that have a little natural food in them but they are mostly chemicals. With a few exceptions I make most of what we eat from scratch. We eat meat 2-3 times a week, and vegetarian the other nights. If I was a working mom pressed for time, I probably would not have changed to making everything from scratch. But as a stay at home mom, I have the time and, really, after I got used to it, it does not add that much time on to my day as long as I plan ahead. There was also the added benefit that our food expenditures have gone down.

 

Part III: Kids, coming soon

*Currently reading What to Eat
by Marion Nestle. I would call it a supermarket survival guide.

Food for Thought, part I

Over the last four years, the way I cook and eat has changed. If I were to do just a straight comparison of what I ate in September of 2005 (that was the month of the chocolate fast concluded with the chocolate feast) and September of 2009, it would seem like a dramatic change but really it was a gradual change over four years.

Four years ago I mostly ate what was quick and easy. I tried to eat healthy with fruit, vegetables, and whole grains but between full time work and planning a wedding, I wanted quick meals. Due to that I ate out at least 3-5 times a week. My sister (who was my roommate at the time) and I did better in the cooking department when we actually planned out a weekly menu and especially when we used the slow cooker. We were both starving by the time we got home from work (we worked at the same place as well) . Today I spend on average 2-3 hours a day preparing and cooking food (some days it is less, some days it is more), I make almost everything from scratch and we rarely eat out. What caused the change? Three reasons: marriage, knowledge, and kids. First Marriage.

Marrying Brigham brought about the biggest change in how I cook and eat. In terms of food, Brigham and I come from two very different cultures. My mother is a wonderful cook and always made delicious food, I would even say gourmet food. But I also come from a family where meat, chicken, or fish was always the main course. I cannot recall ever having a meatless dinner at home; I think my father would have had a heart attack if meat of some type did not grace his dinner plate. We usually had fresh fruits and vegetables in the house and dinner always included at least one side of vegetables. When I left home to go to college I cut down on the amount of meat I ate mostly out of economic necessity and then out of preference. Since my mother was a good cook, I found pleasure in cooking and consuming good food. I like to experiment with new recipes, try new cuisines, and have an extensive spice collection.

Brigham, on the other hand, grew up in an environment where food was a necessity but did not have to be pleasurable-- it just needed to be edible and filling. Since he is one of thirteen children, this attitude is understandable. His mother did not have time nor the resources to devote to preparing food. His family made their own bread, it was the main staple (his dad told me that when all the kids were still at home they went through a ton of wheat in year and I mean a literal ton, 2000 pounds, of wheat); they had their own cow and made their own yogurt, ice cream and cheese; they ate a lot of soups because they were so filling (hence why Brigham prefers soups); fruits and vegetables were only fresh when they grew them or got them from a family member's garden and they canned extensively (and I mean extensively, 400 quarts each of peaches, tomatoes, and applesauce one canning season and that only to lasted 1 year); and they did not eat much meat and if they did have meat, they usually raised it themselves. Because of the way that Brigham ate growing up, he prefers lots of carbohydrates, preferably in the form of homemade bread (he hates store bought bread), soups, not much meat and not a lot of sugar (that is also for health reasons for his heart).

After our marriage, both Brigham and I, went through food culture shock. Before our marriage I had never been confronted with another's food culture. Yes, I had many roommates but what we ate and how we ate was our own business and usually did not coincide since we did not share food as extensively as is common in marriage. To say the merging of our two food cultures was contentious would be an understatement. What satisfied me did not satisfy him and neither of us could understand how they other was not satisfied by other's food preferences. And some foods that the other eats we just found strange. For example, bread and milk. This is bread crumbled up in a bowl with milk poured over it (it can be topped with jam or honey). I find it completely gross but I really don't like cereal with milk either. Brigham loves it. I cannot think of any food I eat that Brigham might find strange probably because he is too polite to mention it whereas I could not hide my disgust of bread and milk the first time I had it at his parent's house. I was also taken back by how ecstatic he and all his siblings were to have bread and milk for dinner. It was like they were being allowed a special treat for dinner, apparently it is everyone's favorite.

We also faced differences over food culture etiquette. In my family, if you were hungry, you went into the kitchen and fixed a snack. With a few restriction (usually just making sure something was not intended for dinner) we could eat whatever was in the kitchen. If a sibling or parent happened into the kitchen while preparing the snack, and they wanted some too, they would just ask the preparer to make a few for them as well. In Brigham's family, no one just helped themselves to a snack. If they were hungry, they had to ask if they could have a snack (it makes sense, it would not be prudent to allow a dozen or so kids have free reign over the food) and if they were making a snack they would also ask everyone else if they wanted some as well. So when we got married, if I was hungry, I just made myself something to eat and I usually did not ask Brigham if he wanted some. He knew I was fixing something. In my mind if he wanted some he would ask, after all that is how it worked in my family. If Brigham was hungry, he would ask me if he could eat something, I would say yes, then he would ask if I wanted some. If I said yes, he would make it, if I said no, he would just sit or stand looking hurt. He could not have a snack if I was not. After much discussion (often times loud) we came to agree that if I am making a snack I ask Brigham if he would like some as well, and if Brigham wants a snack he does not have to ask my permission and that he can have a snack even if I do not want one. This has worked well although he still does ask for my permission. However, this difference in food etiquette does still cause issues when we visit each other's families but I won't go into that now.

Over the years, I have learned to cook in a way to does satisfy both of us. In addition to making my own bread (Brigham did make it but he does not have time now that school has started), I make and can homemade jam and applesauce, and can tomatoes from the garden among other things. Brigham has learned to eat more vegetables and I have learned how to cook a lot of soups. So far it seems to be working although he always requests that I half the sugar whenever I make something that is even remotely sweet and he makes himself bread and milk at least once a week. I never take him up on his invitation to make me some as well. I still find it extremely gross.

Part II, of Food for Thought, Knowledge, will follow when within a few days.

My Favorite Fall Soup

Brigham loves soups. Whenever I ask him what he wants for dinner he usually answers soup. It does not matter if it 100 degrees outside or a blizzard blowing, he always wants soup. I make a lot of soups. One of my favorite soups to make in the fall is "Yellow Pea Soup". It is made with yellow split peas, carrots, and butternut squash. But I have to confess, what I love the most about this soup is not its taste (although it is wonderful) but its brilliant yellow color. This soup freezes well so I double the recipe and freeze half of it for the days I just do not want to cook.

Yellow Pea Soup

4 TBSP olive oil or vegetable oil

2 onions, chopped

1 celery stalk, thinly sliced

1 large carrot, thinly sliced

1 medium sized turnip, dice (I use potatoes instead, I don't like turnips)

8 cups water (I also add in some vegetable bouillon, I think it gives the soup a deeper flavor)

half a butternut squash, peeled and cut into chunks (I have also used Hubbard squash and pumpkin with very delicious results, and a much more brilliant color than butternut squash)

1 1/2 cups of yellow split peas

1 sprig of thyme (or 1 tsp of dry thyme)

1 bay leaf

salt and pepper to taste

fresh parsley, chopped (optional)

1. heat the oil in large pot. Add onions and saute over medium heat until the onions turn soft. Add celery, carrot, and turnip (potato) and continue sauteing for another minute.

2. Add water, chunks of squash, split peas, thyme, bay leaf and parsley. cover the pot and bring the soup to a boil.

3. Cook soup slowly, over medium heat for 45 to 60 minutes or until peas are totally dissolved. Add salt and pepper. Stir well and simmer the soup for 10 minutes. Remove bay leaf. Depending on personal preference, serve immediately (it will be a little chunky) or puree in blender for a smoother soup. Or if you don't have a blender, just cook a little longer.

*This recipes comes from a cookbook I found at the library Twelve Months of Monastery Soups by Brother Victor D'Avila-Latourrett. It is a gem for soups.

One Year

On Monday my little Anna turned 1 year old. I can hardly believe one year has passed since her birth. She is so sweet and gentle but with a temper (when set off) that matches her red hair perfectly. And yes, she inherited the temper from me. She is such a little lady. She loves playing in the garden,

Especially in the mud

and the water.

She rarely gets upset when James dumps things on her head, in fact she enjoys it.


One minute she was playing with the drum, and the next she was sound asleep.

My attempt at making a turtle birthday cake.

Anna thought is tasted yummy.

See, Yummy.

Picture of Happiness

The last few months have been challenging for me: Brigham came home, we spent three months in Kentucky and then traveling around, our budget has been tight, and worries about whether work would be available for Brigham when we returned to Utah. The hardest challenge, much harder than I ever expected, was adjusting to Brigham being home. I am so happy he is home and James and Anna adore their father. I would love to take a picture to capture their excitement when he walks through the door after work; James drops whatever he is doing and shouts "Daddy!" and Anna starts crawling as fast as she can to him. The challenge has been to realize that I am no longer a "temporarily single mother." The temporary part has ended and that is good but I have mourned the loss of one aspect of Brigham's deployment: "me" time. I had ample time to myself to read, to watch movies, to work on projects. With Brigham gone there was also less house work to do, less laundry, less dirty dishes (I cook more elaborate meals for Brigham), less clutter. I had a schedule worked out, I stuck to it, and the kids very rarely got to bed late and I had 2-3 hours of "me" time. every night. But now, there is an abbreviated version of the schedule, the kids rarely get to bed on time and I have maybe 20 minutes to myself while Brigham showers.



That lack of "me" time has taken its toll. I need more time to myself than 20 minutes (especially since those 20 minutes are usually taken finishes last minute chores). I need more time to unwind and relax. Part of the problem is that Brigham does not understand the need for "me" time. It is a completely foreign concept to him. As one of 13 children, he was very rarely alone. He only had a room to himself for 2 semesters at school, other than that he has always shared a room with at least one other person but he is used to sharing a room with 5 brothers and a few cousins. I had my own room for most of the time I was growing up and was used to spending hours by myself in it. James and Anna do take about a 2 hour nap in the afternoon but that is when I work out and start the dinner preparations: it is so much easier to prepare dinner without two kids constantly tugging at me or refereeing because James' favorite game, currently, is pushing Anna down when she tries to stand or walk. But I think I have found the solution: I get with Brigham at 6:30 am (he leaves for work at 7) then I have an hour or more to myself until the kids wake up around 8.

It is now 840 in the morning, the kids are still asleep (I need to wake them up otherwise they won't take a nap) and I feel more relaxed having an hour or so to myself.

I got some more pictures from my friend, the wonderful photographer, Amy. This picture is my all time favorite of Brigham and I. It reminded me, despite the challenges we face in our marriage, we are happy.

Family Photos

Last night we drove up to Albion Basin, past Snowbird, to have some family photos taken by my good friend Amy Brown. I have admired her photography for years but she lives in Boston. When I found out she was going to be in Utah for a few weeks, I jumped at the chance to have her photograph my family. I think these are the best photos I have ever had taken of me and the family. I cannot wait to see more over the next couple of days. It is going to be extremely hard to decide when photographs to order.