Finding Balance

Before I married and had children, I was able to maintain balance in my life. When things started to become unbalanced I, and I alone, needed to make adjustments to return to a more balanced life. Now when things start to get unbalanced, I and four other people (with their own wants/needs) are part of that adjustment process to return to balance, which means my life feels unbalanced all the time. It is a constant juggling act to find balance among interacting with the children (collectively and individually), spending time with my husband (or just talk with him on the phone as is the case currently), and finding time for myself in addition to all the other pulls on my time: cleaning house, cooking food, running errands, preparing to move, maintaining relationships with friends and family and getting adequate sleep. I postpone cleaning the house during the day to play with the kids, and clean house at night when I should be spending time with Brigham or end up sacrificing that all important “me” time.

Recently, I discovered that doing the opposite of what I think will return balance is actually the most effective way to rebalance. Let me illustrate: most morning I awake with upper and lower back aches from a combination of nursing a big baby, lifting heavy children and a mattress in desperate need of replacing. Because of this, I spend several minutes each morning trying to ease the aches. I performed upper back stretches and lower back stretches, I tried back strengthening exercises, and different sleep positions, all to no avail; the aches remained and I felt stiff and uncomfortable moving. One morning I stretched my chest; my upper back ache disappeared. Last night I practiced a yoga exercise sequence that focused on opening the hips. This morning I awoke with my lower back feeling supple and ache free. My back was not out balance. It was showing the strain of compensating for the other parts of the body that were off-kilter. Today I cleaned both bathrooms with Anna chattering away at me and happily wiping down any surface I told her to with her rag. James scrubbed the trash can lid, and then told me he needed to wash the refrigator door. The balance: I can clean with the kids. Tomorrow, I’ll see how well 3 year old and 2 year old can cook.