For almost a year I have basically been an only parent. I have coped with my son's tantrums, soothed his nightmares, borne his crankiness, wiped his tears, read him books until hoarse, slaved in the kitchen to make healthy and delicious food only to have him throw it on the floor or smear it all over his face or both, I have changed hundreds of diapers, planned activities to the pool or park or a playground, let him play in mud, cleaned up his messes, and nursed him when sick with very little complaint. But I do have one major complaint that I must, well, complain about. I have yet to hear the most cherished word that I long to hear from my son's lips: Mommy.
IT IS NOT FAIR.
He says daddy. In fact, daddy is his favorite word. Several times a day James participates in what I call the daddy parade: he walks around the house pointing at all the pictures of Brigham saying "daddy" (this is said in a high voice with his voice rising an octave on "dy"). Don't get me wrong, I love the daddy parade. I especially love that the best way to interrupt a tantrum or stop him crying is to show James a picture of Brigham and ask him "Who's this?" He always brightens and says daddy. Then he wants to hold the picture and he looks at it so lovingly. This always gives me a bittersweet kind of relief, relief that it stops his crying, happiness that James knows his daddy and loves him but sadness that James misses him. I am not sad that James misses his daddy but sad that he has to miss him. When Brigham calls he says over and over "Daddy, daddy" while he talks to him.
(James is talking to his daddy) But it is not this that I find unfair. No, what I find unfair is that on my birthday instead of hearing that cherished word "Mommy" James said "grandpa!" and then today, once again instead of "mommy" I heard "Grandma" and something that sounded like "Baba" which was directed at my sister Bobbi. That I find unfair. After only a few days in their company and he is saying their names while I, who has been with him nearly 24/7, remains unnamed by him. But I will try not to be bitter. However, if James has not said Mommy by the time Brigham comes home I will be absolutely devastated and will only be consoled by someone else doing the dishes for the next six months at the very least.
2 comments:
I have to let you know that when my first child or two went through the phase of learning to talk. It was always daddy that they said first, and it took a while longer before they ever said, mommy.
While it was sweet to hear it the first time, they get to the point of "overusing" it. And then you might experience moments of why does he keep saying my name!? (Okay, you might be a better mom than I am, and might not go through this phase, but I did, and sometimes still do)
But just give it time, at least James is actually saying words, whereas Ethan is not saying anything.
But the minutes he starts saying mommy, he'll never STOP!!! SO you have a lifetime to look forward to hearing it. Hang in there.
your blog is feel good......
Post a Comment